When I say “Please STOP” I’m talking to those of you who like to tell pregnant ladies things like “You’re huge!” and “Are you sure you’re not having twins?” I would also like to tell you to stop if you say things like “I’m sorry” or “Guess you’ll have to try again after this” when you hear someone is having a third boy (or girl). Seriously, these things are NOT acceptable. They at least completely irritate me. Maybe it doesn’t help that I’m a walking giant belly full of hormones like a 14-year old boy with a premature beer gut.
I’m only in my 6th month and yet I’m already getting these comments. Of course, in spite of my hormonal cranky issues I still generally smile back at people and laugh it off, but inside I want to claw their eyes out.
First I want to address those of you who dare to point out my sizable belly and comment that my baby will be huge (it probably will be a bit large with my history) or that I’ll have twins (trust me, it’s not twins and the comment is not helpful) or that I look ready to pop already (also really not a helpful or pleasant thing to say). If you are not my freaking OB/GYN then it is none of your business how large I am, and it’s not like you know what’s going on in there. For one thing, I was pudgy before I got knocked up, so I’m a bit sensitive to the fat words. For another, I tend to carry excess amniotic fluid (sorry if that’s TMI, but it was a fact of my last two pregnancies). Finally, yes my babies were a bit big (not huge but big enough) at 8lb 14oz and 9lb 11oz. However, I don’t want to dwell on how big this one might be–trust me I’m already nervous about having a 10lb-er without you commenting on it.
As for those who like to feel sorry for me that I’m having a third boy, all I really want to say to you is: “BITE ME”. Yes, a part of me wanted to try out having a girl, but I happen to be absolutely smitten with the boys I already have and I know a third one will also be adorable and hilarious and make my life richer. I am not remotely disappointed about having all boys and I resent people who think I should be. I have friends who have all girls and they feel the same about their situation. Basically the only reason I wanted a girl was to buy the clothes and the dolls, so it’s not like I was really pining away in my heart of hearts for a kid without a penis.
OK, I think I’ve finished the vent for now. Whew, I actually feel a tiny bit better. How about you? Anyone else get these tacky comments when pregnant? How did you respond?
Ugh. People can be such idiots, especially when it comes to pregnant women. For some reason, you become public property when pregnant, and random people think nothing of touching you, asking personal questions, and making idiotic comments. I soooo hated having my belly rubbed by complete strangers. And I think I’ve mentioned this before, but when I had my second kid, several people told me that I was “done” because I had one of each gender. Like that had anything to do with it. Think before you speak people!!
Sorry you’ve gotten your fair share of stupid stuff. I hope the morons knock it off. And hope you’re feeling pretty good and that the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly!
You know, I think it’s perfectly acceptable to politely let people know if they’ve insulted you or hurt your feelings.
In response to the size comments, something like “Gee, thanks” or “I’m a little sensitive about my size right now” lets people know that their comment wasn’t appropriate. It’s not always fun to watch them squirm or listen to badly thought out apologies, but perhaps they’ll keep their mouth shut the next time they see you (or another pregnant lady!).
The boy thing is so out of line, though, that I’m having trouble thinking of a polite way to handle it! So I stand by my initial recommendation of kicking them in the shins. That accomplishes two things: 1. negative reinforcement for their unbelievable lameness, and 2. proving that pregnancy does not diminish your agility, strength, or your lightening fast reflexes.
Beware the pregnant ninja lady! Great is her wrath, and great are her skillz!