Obstetricians and Midwives

I feel very blessed that I have had great obstetricians (and midwives) in the various places I’ve lived. I went to my first OB/GYN in Houston and she was the one I went to during my first pregnancy. Unfortunately she wasn’t able to deliver Isaac because she’d already been in the hospital all night when we arrived in the wee hours of the morning. Instead we had one of her colleagues (also a woman) for his birth. Anyway, that first OB, Dr. T. was fabulous. She had long fingers. Not to be gross or anything but that seemed like a good qualification for an OB/GYN. She was also very gentle and easy to talk to. All I knew about when I chose her was that she was a woman, so it was nice to find that she was a really great doctor as well. She turned out to be the senior member of her practice and one of the most respected gynecologists in Houston.

I continued to go to Dr. T. even when I lived in Europe–I’d visit her on trips home. Then when I got pregnant with Ewan while living in London I realized she wouldn’t be able to see me through my second pregnancy. I had to choose a local hospital for my prenatal care and birth, then I’d be seen by a rotating group of midwives. I chose a hospital two tube rides away because I had researched thoroughly and it seemed the best place. My general practitioner argued that I should go to the nearer hospital (in retrospect a fairly sensible opinion). I was annoyed, though, because he said “It was good enough for Princess Diana.” Yeah, like I’d get the same treatment as Princess Di. The hospital process in London turned out to be rather frustrating so instead we chose to switch to a private birth clinic. It was much more expensive (as in not free) but so worth it. I had two midwives assigned to me, and they would visit me at my flat. That was wonderful for a pregnant mom with a toddler–much better than dragging Isaac to and from the hospital on the underground.

My midwives were completely fantastic–so personable and helpful. When I thought I might be in labor (false alarm) one came to the house and checked me out. When I did actually start labor they met me at the birth center and spent the whole time with me. It was nothing like the first experience in the hospital with Isaac with nurses constantly going off shift (we were there a long time) and the doctor only popping in every couple hours to take a look. Then when Ewan came out blue and not breathing, the midwives immediately set him up with oxygen and called the ambulance to take him to the hospital (which was practially right next door anyway). Then they did followup checkups in our flat for his first 6 weeks. I only wish I could fly those two here for my next baby!

When I came here to NY I had to do the search again. I found another local female OB/GYN and she seemed great–even reminded me of a younger Dr. T. I’ll call this new one Dr. P. Then a couple days after my first appointment with her, I went to church and realized she was a fellow church member. I have to admit I was a little weirded out at first–felt a little odd socializing with her over coffee after she’d examined me two days before. Then this year I started helping with the 1st grade class in church school and she turned out to be one of my fellow teachers. That weirded me out a little more. Finally I just asked her if it was o.k. if I was her patient and a co-teacher and she said, “of course, it will be fine” or something to that effect. She said if I was o.k. with it she was. Since then I’ve even asked her a couple questions while at church (like can I still take so-and-so prescription while trying to get pregnant) and she was very helpful. I was glad about that since it takes ages to get appointments if you’re not yet pregnant.

As for this potential baby I’m trying to conceive, I’m not sure yet whether I want to do the hospital route again, even with the kind Dr. P. delivering. I had such a better experience at the Birth Centre in the UK, even in spite of the pain of a natural birth with a big baby (9lb 11oz). I may find out about doulas and the like and see what kind of birth centers they might have around here. Last time I researched I didn’t see any very close, though. Of course, considering how long it takes me to deliver babies I could probably drive a ways. I don’t know if I’m prepared to do an actual home birth. A natural birth is such a screaming bloody experience that I don’t know if I want it in my house (or with my other kids around).

How about you (the few readers out there)? What kind of experience have you had with obstetricians and midwives? Do you prefer women or are you o.k. with a male doctor? Comment if you have a story to tell.