Fig Life

It’s been some time since I posted a dream here, but it’s not for a lack of wacky dreams, of course. Mainly it’s just hard to put them in words sometimes, even though I remember lots of vivid moments.

I’m going to keep this one very succinct because it went on so many weird tangents that I don’t even want to attempt to follow.

Basically, I dreamed that I was a bodyguard for a special teenage princess. She was so special in fact, that she could turn herself into a caterpillar (nope, not a butterfly, just a yellow and purple caterpillar). So part of the protection was preventing people from stepping on her if she suddenly went caterpillar on me (suddenly I’m remembering that weird song by The Cure: “Caterpillar Girl”–I love me some Robert Smith).

Anyway, I had to take the Caterpillar Princess to a meeting on the moon. However, all the available spaceships were going to other locations (Mars, East Texas, Alpha Centauri, etc.) So we had to go look for a private spaceship. Finally we found one that looked more like an open boat, but apparently if you wore the right spacesuit you were fine. I had the cash for our trip stuffed in all my pockets and was worried I would lose some on the trip.

I don’t even know if the princess and I made it to the moon because then it went off on a tangent of being on an actual boat crossing a swamp to get to a rocking party. I guess my mind got bored with the moon trip.

Yesterday I took a rather long nap (I always plan on short naps but they always end up longer, maybe because I enjoy Dreamland so much). During that 2-hour-ish nap, I managed to dream what felt like a novel. Unfortunately, I didn’t write it down early enough to tell you the blow-by-blow, but basically I was living in medieval times (not sure what country but since they were all speaking English, we’ll say England). The king at the time was a terrible tyrant and I planned to overthrow him. I found out I had magical powers (always a convenient discovery in dreams) so I used those to my advantage. The part I remember best was near the end, when I confronted the evil king, demonstrating my power by creating fire at will and terrorizing him with it before magically extinguishing it. I also did something like make part of the roof fall in in a perfect oval. Then I made my own evil declaration: “I HAVE THE POWER. YOU SHALL FALL. I WILL RULE ALL.” Boy, pretty tough, eh?

So, if that weren’t enough, I went to bed last night and had another wacky dream. This one was very convoluted and involved an intricate escape from a huge building. At one point we were just trying to get through a line to catch a taxi, but then it changed and I was trying to escape Vatican city with all the Swiss Guard and all the cardinals after me. I was actually escaping with a small group of people and a child (it was the child the dudes were really after, but I’m not sure why). At one point we even stepped in a fake toilet to whoosh down a tunnel (thanks for that idea, J.K. Rowling).

So I’m livin’ large–at least in my dreams. I awoke before I we escaped Vatican City, but I have great confidence that we would indeed have prevailed (even if I had to make it happen with lucid dreaming–I rock at that stuff).